The ashamed student...

Getting back from Spring Break, I only had three weeks left of classes and then two and a half weeks of finals. Here at Bogaziçi University, they spread out the finals to ensure studying. However I came back fully unprepared for the Matrix Theory midterm that was taking place the Tuesday after I get back. Needless it is to say that I did not do well on it. From what I have gathered from other people, none of my fellow exchange, and special students are doing well this semester either. The only ones who are doing well are those whom only took the minimum 9 hours. I am taking 17. Also this school is tough. For all of my classes, I have to compete against the brightest students in all of Turkiye. Even though I speak English as a first language, it doesn't matter for the courses I am in. I have realized that you can get by learning math in a non English speaking environment as long as theorems, and problems are explained through the universal language of math.

I am also ashamed to be an American student. Outside of the US, math is taught vigorously and strenuously. In the United States they suger coat it! It is the same with Economics. At ISU they don't integrate math with Economics much. I have had to do that myself. Thank god for my math background before coming here, because I know for a fact that an average Economics major at ISU wouldn't even be able to survive at Bogaziçi because ISU does not stress the math component enough. Very few American universities do. I should have gone to the U of I for that reason alone.

Either way my grades have a very large variation. I am close to failing one of my classes, and for another I am doing very well (A-). It was disheartening to hear however the average grade point average at this school of geniuses was 2.1 on a 4.0 scale. However, I have plegded that the next three weeks are going to be productive, and that I will do everything in my power to be higher then the average at this university.

For instance there are a couple of guys who are studying abroad here who have used the opportunity to study abroad to pretty much just travel abroad, but there is no possible way they doing good in all of their classes. I refuse to be like this. I have felt a little ashamed about how I did go over the line on expenses for all my travels and how I have had to ask mom and dad for money. It would be a terrible waste in tuition money to just come here and slack off. Some students don't see the harm in this, but I do. One of the reasons I came here was to see what a rigorous, highly competitive school was like, and to try and cleanse myself of the stigma associated with students at ISU. ISU isn't a horrible school, but it does celebrate mediocricy in my field of Economics way to much for me to give it much respect. The only reason I stay at ISU is because of the people I have met there, and the fact that I can walk all over the Economics Department and really show off.

Bottom Line: I have been blessed to have parents that are able to invest in my own education, and it would be dishonorable to waste their investment. I am not going to travel outside of Istanbul until finals are over.